Chapter 3
Angel quickly packed away the tables and checked herself in the mirror making sure she looked alright.
“Angel why do you do this to yourself?” Her work partner shook his head and looked at her sadly. He knew exactly what had been happening these two years, he watched her through all the pain and suffering in silence. He wanted to reach out, but she never let him, she was always distant when it came to emotions.
“What are you talking about hye sung?” Angel curved the sides of her lips up in sorrow and asked innocently. She knew what he was talking about, she was just in denial.
Hye sung smiled warmly in understanding and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “You be careful ok? Have fun and don’t think too much.”
He viewed her lovingly and gave her hand one last squeeze, just for good luck. Angel knew he meant well, he was always there for her but she didn’t want to hurt him, she knew what it felt like.
“I’ll be careful...I’ve never let my guard down before....I don’t think it will change this time.”
She smiled genuinely to reassure her worried friend and walked to the door. She had seen him when he arrived, his form leaning slightly on the door, as always. She didn’t need to see him, she sensed his presence.
“Hey, you’re early.”
“I know...did you get the present? I wanted to make sure...I don’t want anything to go wrong tonight.”
“Here it is...I’m sure she’ll like this. Let’s go.”
Angel handed him the flawlessly wrapped box and led him outside. Her smile never faltered once but her heart was already aching. Min woo started the car and another night of struggle started within Angel.
Whoever told me letting go was easy should just visit heaven right now...because it’s not...it hurts....it kills...holding on will ensure my survival....yet letting go....it’s not possible...
* * * * *
Angel entered min woo’s house behind him and spotted soo jin at first sight from afar, it wasn’t hard to distinguish soo jin from the crowd for two reasons. One being soo jin, with her petite figure, delicate features and an angelic aura was one of a kind. She stood out like white light in a dark room. Another reason was because min woo’s eyes followed behind soo jin wherever he was in the room. When he couldn’t see her, he would always be searching among the crowds and Angel knew this because her eyes followed his every move.
“Angel unnie!!!”
“Happy graduation soo jin! Hope you like the present.”
Soo jin, who kept glancing back to the front door from her group of friends saw Angel enter with min woo and made her way to them in a flash. Smiling happily, soo jin bounced towards Angel and gave her a big bear hug, then grinned dorkily at min woo.
“Soo jin yah...min woo oppa and Angel bought this for you. Open it and have a look.”
“Oh...wow....this is great...thanks oppa.”
She jumped and gave min woo a grateful hug. Min woo, sensing her happiness put his arms around her and pulled her in close. Angel observed this from afar and said nothing. This wasn’t her domain, she was just an outsider. She backed to the side and moved her way into the centre of the room where the waiters were holding up drinks. Taking a glass of wine herself, she looked around at the content faces and sat down on the sofa. Min woo’s house, or mansion should it be called, was massive. Three stories and very spacious, something she could only dream about. It was times like this she wondered what she would be like if she had stayed in
Angel finished up her first glass of wine and started on another, until soo jin came in search of her and dragged her to see a friend of hers.
“Angel unnie, you have to see Danny, he’s right over there. Come on, I’ll show you.”
Whilst dragging Angel, soo jin spoke excitedly of her friend Danny.
“Danny? Who’s Danny? You’ve never told me about him before.”
Angel questioned her but was cut off by soo jin pointing wildly in a direction towards a crowd of people near the snack table.
“Look!! Unnie, see the guy with the light brown hair? He’s Danny.”
Angel searched the group of people together and finally spotted the Danny soo jin was going crazy over.
“Oh, ok.”
“What do you think?”
“Um...he’s cute?”
“JUST cute?? Unnie!! He’s great!!”
“Soo jin yah...are you not telling me something?”
Soo jin looked away guiltily and tightened her small cherry lips. Angel rose an eyebrow and questioned her once again.
“Not really unnie...I just...well...I really really like Danny.”
Angel stared at her dumbstruck, if soo jin meant what Angel thought she had meant...then...
“Soo jin? Are you telling me you’re going out?”
“No no...He doesn’t know I exist. He came here today because I got my friend to invite him. He’s been in two of my classes this year and...”
Soo jin’s explanation trailed off to nothingness but Angel got the point.
“You like him?”
Nodding, soo jin replied, “I think he likes me too. I have hinted to him before. Ooo...unnie...I’m so scared. What if he doesn’t like me? I’m planning to ask him out.”
“But soo jin ah....what about....”
“SOO JIN! Over here.”
“Okay! Coming. Sorry unnie, I’ll talk to you later! Danny’s over there. Have fun okay?”
As Angel was about to speak she was cut off by soo jin’s friend who called out to them and soo jin quickly hurried off in the direction of her friends, eyes sparkling like a child who knew a secret. Angel watched her run off and disappear into the people around her. She didn’t know what to think, say, how to react, her mind was a blank.
But soo jin ah...what about min woo....what are you doing? It wasn’t suppose to happen like this....you’re not suppose to....your min woo oppa...what are you doing soo jin???.....
* * * * *
Min woo scanned around the room in search of Angel to tell her the news and found her in the corner gawking in soo jin’s direction. Angel’s medium length, layered black hair stood out from the mass of young teenagers as everyone else followed the times and had highlights or just fully coloured hair. She wore no makeup but her flawlessly milky coloured skin made it very hard to believe indeed. Min woo often wondered why Angel was still single, from when he had met her till now she had not dated once, in fact, she never even went out with any guys. He never questioned her about this, it was something that they both understood, and no matter how much they shared with each other, their emotions would forever be concealed. Sure he would tell her about soo jin but that was different, it didn’t concern them, it didn’t complicate things, he hated complications.
Noticing he’d been staring at Angel for some time, he finally made his way over and caught her just in time as she stood up to leave.
“Angel, where are you going?”
“Oh, I’m not feeling well...”
Angel looked away and blushed slightly, but she was intent on believing that the wine caused this effect.
“Oh, do you need a lift home?”
Min woo asked casually but behind that mask was deep worry, if only Angel was concentrating enough she would have noticed. But she just shook her head sadly and edged towards the door.
“No, I’m sure you want to stay with soo jin tonight. I’ll take a taxi home or something. So...see you tomorrow?”
“Wait...”
Min woo grabbed her arm just as she stepped outside and her heart almost stopped.
Are you...worried about me? Can it be....?
“Angel, I was just talking to my father and we’ve both decided that we want soo jin to settle down.”
Soo jin...what was I thinking...who else could make him lose that hardened ice wall...the wall I’ve been trying to melt...the wall that’s keeping me away....I hate feeling like this...to watch but not be able to touch.....it’s painful...
“Settle down? What do you mean?”
“Well we’ve discussed it for quite awhile already, even before soo jin’s graduation and we’ve decided that soo jin and I should get engaged. I wouldn’t want her to run off with someone else now would I?”
Min woo’s attempt at a joke received no slight outcome on Angel’s face and sensing her awkward expression he quickly took it as something else.
“Oh don’t worry about soo jin, I don’t want to tie her down until she’s ready so this is just an engagement. Nothing else.”
He explained and glanced over at soo jin adoringly over his shoulder.
Angel couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t comply, her mind uncomprehending. She watched soo jin laughing happily with her friends, with Danny.
It’s so nice to see you smile soo jin....because your smile is synonymous to min woo’s...I’m not greedy...if I can’t see his smiling face...to know that he feels the joy on your face every time he sees you....to know that you bring delight and warmth into his life....it’s enough...really....what more could I want...? What more could I...possibly...get...
But soo jin....why are you doing this to him? What if he finds out.....pain....the effects on him.....I wish you could help me...just this one time....even if I had to beg you....please don’t hurt him soo jin.....I’m depending on it....
“Angel?”
“Uh? Oh...yeh...that would be great. So don’t forget to invite me okay?”
Zombie like movements led her outside and leaving behind min woo’s calls, she made her way down the street...alone. Everything was thrown out of her mind and she did not even know where she would begin to think, to understand, to figure this all out.
It’s going to be a long night....a long walk...where is my destination...? Where am I going? Why am I walking? What’s happening?
Chapter 4
She tossed, she turned, she was beginning to let go...or so she thought. Angel woke up extra early the next morning and took out the iced spoons she tucked in the freezer when she got home the night before. She figured she would need them in the morning, and she was right, as she observed her puffy red eyes in the mirror.
I’m in such a mess....how did I end up like this....I’m a joke...
Shaking her head in dismay she took a deep breath in and cleared up her head. It felt as if it was ready to burst after all that she put it through yesterday night.
Angel...you need to get yourself out....stop caring...stop thinking...just....stop....
She thought to herself in the mirror and splashed a few handfuls of icy water on her face. Taking the clothes off the rack behind the door, she proceeded to dress and get ready to go to work. A ruthless day lay ahead, filled with harsh truths she would have to face one by one, each cutting into her like a sharp knife, but it was ok. She just needed to endure so much before the pain went away, if the pain was to ever disappear.
* * * * *
It only took one look at Angel for hye sung to drop everything from his hands and come running to her.
“Angel...what happened??? Are you ok?”
“No...I’m not hye sung....but...I will be...”
Angel’s fingers touched her swollen eyes lightly and was reminded once again of last night. Hye sung studied her closely trying to figure out the surge of emotions swirling within her eyes. She looked peaceful enough skin deep but he was worried, peace before a storm they say and that was what scared him the most.
“I will be...really....just you watch...”
Noting his worries, Angel turned around and comforted him instead. She knew what it felt like to watch loved ones in pain yet not being able to do anything about it. The helplessness was overwhelming; in no way she would want hye sung to experience it too. Angel checked herself in the mirror once more and headed out from the kitchen to serve. It was a brand new day, and like someone once said, ‘life can be summed up in three words...it goes on...’, Angel didn’t want to dwell, she hated dwelling.
“What happened yesterday?”
“Hye sung....I’m letting go...”
“Angel...”
“No...Really...I’m probably going to be a bridesmaid at their wedding. My job....it’s finished....”
I hope....funny how the mind works....if I help him to win...I end up losing...yet the thought of him losing is unbearable....love....who said it was sweet.....this is love....and it kills.....
Angel smiled an authentic Angel smile and started clearing up the tables leaving hye sung to stare. Helplessly....
Angel...stop...doing this to yourself.....what did he do.....Lee min woo....you must be the dumbest guy on earth....to let Angel slip from your grasp.....the dumbest....
* * * * *
8 days came and went, yet still Min woo failed to continue his 4.30 pm routine into Angel’s café. Consciously she denied counting the days as they went by but her subconscious always got the better of her.
Maybe....the arrangements....are taking awhile....after all....everything has to be perfect....perfect for soo jin.....
The thoughts and worries of Danny were tossed to the back of her head in the absence of min woo. Automatically Angel wanted everything to go smoothly for him. Soo jin’s reaction, the planning right down to the decorations and wedding dress. The idea of a twist in all of this was definitely out of the question. She would be the first one to reject the idea. It wouldn’t be imaginable....it wouldn’t....
As Angel continued her far away looks into thin air whilst washing the coffee cups, a subconscious reaction to a faint shout was registered and pulled her back into reality. Soo jin, looking her fabulous self was standing at the door and beamed in her direction. A dark and slightly taller figure stood behind, covered by soo jin. Soo jin ran into the café and plopped herself on one of the chairs behind the bench in front of Angel. Before Angel could utter a sound, let alone a word, soo jin brought the stranger out of the dark. He was a stranger, until Angel took a good look at him and her heart sank. Soo jin’s fingers were entwined in his and the smile she directed to him was one Angel had never caught a glimpse of before. It was that smile of satisfaction, happiness......and....love...
Danny.......
Angel stared at them together in front of her with mixed emotions. Anger, disbelief, joy, grief...she felt them all. All tugging at her already worn out senses. Soo jin, being her ignorant self was too absorbed in her world of sweetness to notice Angel let alone her expressions and feelings. She rattled on, unable to stop, not wanting to stop. She wanted to share her happiness with Angel, in spite of the hurt Angel was going through. At any expense, soo jin was the most important.
I sometimes feel sorry towards you soo jin.....maybe I am a bad person...because everything I do....is to help min woo...you’re a great girl soo jin....and I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive your unnie.....I love him.....so.....much....
* * * * *
Finally finishing the cleaning up, Angel led soo jin and Danny to a table looking out the window doors of the café and sat down to listen to soo jin without distraction. Soo jin’s contentment was the curtain of obliviousness towards her surroundings, feelings included. She felt she wanted to spread her joy, her laughter.
“Unnie, this is Danny....last time I never got to introduce him to you....”
“Hi...nuna....can I call you that?”
He smiled politely and shook Angel’s hands and in response she nodded and smiled back. Sincere or not, it was the best she could possibly do.
“Soo jin, has min woo talked to you after the party?”
“Huh? Oppa? Oh he had an urgent call from
The first thing out of Angel’s mouth was to question min woo’s whereabouts. The sight in front of her was too much to handle and she couldn’t even think about the way min woo would react...or reacted....but luckily he didn’t know. Just yet. Angel finally understood his absence these 8 days.
“Did he want to tell me something?”
“Oh? No...I was just wondering....nothing much...”
“Ok...so anyway unnie...I have to tell you some good news...”
Angel quickly concealed her mood from her face and replaced it with a smiling mask.
“Yes?”
Bringing their intertwined hands onto the table for Angel to notice, which she already did, soo jin took a slightly shy peek at Danny. He gave her an encouraging smile, which made soo jin blush and mutter the words, “Unnie....Danny....is my boyfriend.”
It was barely audible yet the effect of the simple confession sent Angel into an emotional disarray.
Boyfriend......soo jin.....you can’t........how will he feel...the rejection.....the.... betrayal.....min woo.....
