Cinderella - Angel JJ [chapter 6]

Chapter 6

“Does it hurt? Does it?”

He tightened his grip to a degree Angel began to lose feel of her arm but she no longer struggled to break free from him. His feelings-stripped eyes caused her to stir. Something about the way he looked at her, he spoke to her sent shivers down her spine. Angel had never seen min woo like this before and it was obvious something was wrong. She ceased to keep up her concern for her arm because there was something else of more importance she wanted to address. Lee min woo and his state of mind right at that moment. She didn’t understand, for once she did not understand where min woo was coming from.

“Min woo....when did you get back? What’s wrong....?”

She enquired in a barely audible whisper, to say she wasn’t scared would be a lie but her worry and concern for min woo was overpowering her fear.

“Do you care?”

He sneered and pulled her even closer to him by the arm. He didn’t care if her expression was distorted in pain. He didn’t care if she was being ripped into pieces inside. He didn’t care if her heart cried out to him. He did not care about her.

Of course I care....it’s stupid how much I care......I feel stupid yet I still struggle to keep up this stupid act....call me stupid.....no....what am I thinking.....you don’t know me....you don’t understand me.....you are the only one that fails to see this side....is it because you fail to see me?

Angel turned her head away from his face and looked everywhere except at the person in front of her. The alcohol smell made her cringe, not because she disliked the smell but because she knew he had been drinking and hurting himself. Watching his eyes echoing the pain he was in slashed her inside.

“Look at me...are you scared after what you have done?”

“Done? What are you talking about....?’

“Don’t play innocent. You knew all along didn’t you?”

She looked at him in genuine puzzlement.

“What did I know? What is wrong with you today...???”

Angel expressed her exasperation over his actions in the only way she could, with words. She wished he could release his hand from her arm. Somewhere deep inside she felt afraid to see him right now. The amount of emotion he put forth in her face was unbelievable. Not once in the two years had Angel ever seen him exercise the muscles on his face so much, let alone to lose control like this. She was more comfortable when he observed and spoke to her with that personalised unchanging mask, she was used to that way of communication between them. It was the norm. This was not. She didn’t want to associate with this side of him, she was too scared to see this side of him.

“What’s wrong with me? You know what...everything....and you should know why.....why didn’t you tell me? HUH? WHY? Did you feel a sense of pleasure to imagine my suffering like this? Are you happy now that I know??? Are you? TELL ME!! ARE YOU?”

Min woo shook Angel fiercely and flung her aside, intentional or not, Angel fell directly towards the tables and the corner of one table jabbed her hard in the back. The pain shot through her and she slowly sank down onto the floor clutching to one side of her shirt. Distorting it in a way it somehow represented the pain she was in. The turmoil she was experiencing wasn’t oblivious to min woo but he couldn’t bring himself to even look at her.

“Lee min woo.....if you are just here to discharge your innermost anguish then I suggest you get out. Or if you really have something to say then get your act together. You look like a total mess.”

Not matter how much the turbulence disturbed her inside, Angel held onto to the urge to shed the pain physically. The crystals brimming from her eyes glistened at certain angles but the strong will power and self control Angel demonstrated prevented the glimmer to slide down her pale face. She knew min woo needed her, she couldn’t break down in front of him. Whatever it was going to take, Angel wanted to look strong and so she reined in her emotions, just for him. She wanted...she needed to be there when he needed her. This was all in the contract she signed and stored away in the depths of her worn out heart. If only she could find that contract again....she would rip it to pieces but she can't....it would be a part of her....forever.

* * * * *

Seconds passed like minutes, minutes passed like hours. How long it had been since they began this silence was the least of their thoughts.

“So...why didn’t you tell me?”

Min woo finally turned his head slightly and let his voice carry through to the trembling Angel who was still on the floor comprehending the pain in her stomach. She sighed and didn’t answer, she would have if this wasn’t already the twentieth time he had asked and she hadn’t already answered the question nineteen times before this. Noting her lack of movement, min woo finally turned around to stare at her on the floor whilst asking the question.

“I know Angel....about soo jin.....I know about it....”

Min woo whispered half angered, half in despair. At the mention of soo jin all the pain she was suffering were thrown to the back of her head and Angel’s eyes finally lifted to catch his expression, his gaze unseen. It was like he was in awe because he had finally figured out the meaning of life. He knew the future and the past, but he forgot everything else around him.

“How.....how do you know?”

“I was outside today....I came back from America this morning and came here to talk to you.....about..........the wedding dress.....”

And his voice trailed off into the distant breeze of nothingness blowing in freely from the wide open entrance. Angel’s bottom lip quivered slightly and the tears formed an almost invisible barrier over her view.

Wedding dress....that’s why you went.....the wedding dress......like you said....the special custom designed gown you purchased..........just like your soo jin.....the one and only......

You went to all the trouble just for a dress....I’m so sorry min woo....I can only imagine the pain you must be going through right now......if there was any way for me to endure all this for you...I would....but I can’t min woo.....I can’t.....I’m sorry....You have to get yourself out of this....I’ll be right here....holding on and helping you through this.....trust me.....

“I think you misunderstood me....I didn’t know anything about Danny until today. I met him at the party but I didn’t realise it would.....turn out like this.....I’m sorry...”

Min woo’s lifeless eyes suddenly grew bright and his head turned abruptly to face Angel.

“What do you mean? You didn’t know until today? How’s that possible...I don’t understand.....”

“You didn’t try to understand....I don’t know what made you blame this on me but that’s not the point....if it makes you feel any better then I’d be happy to stand right here and be your punching bag. But you’re not doing anything useful. If you really love her then go barge into her room and tell her min woo. Get her back, do something....”

.....because it hurts me when I see you like this....if you really do love her....you’ll get her back....won’t you min woo?

Min woo adopted his unseen gaze again and sank down to the floor, in line with Angel.

“But....she looked so happy.....she was laughing and smiling....I’ve never seen her smile so much......she was like someone else....not the small princess I’ve cherished since forever........something about her was different....the joy......and delight.....I wish........but she isn’t my little princess anymore.....but I don’t understand...after all I’ve done.......letting go....I can’t.....I.....can’t.....”

Min woo spoke to no one in particular but his murmurs continued and Angel’s sharp sense of hearing caught every word, every sigh, everything.

“.....letting go....you don’t know the start to letting go.......I don’t...want you to.....but....min woo....she’s gone now.....seeing her today made me realise....she’s been a pawn in the mind games we play.....we’re the same kind of people min woo....you and I......and we’ve been hurting her.....maybe it’s time to let her spread her wings and find herself.....she’s grown up....she’s no longer the little girl that needs to be held so close to us and caged up.....”

Angel spoke without much feeling but her words were powerful, they didn’t need to be thought up, every word was from the heart. Even though min woo’s head was down and now had a bottle of liquor in his hand, taking gulps every now and then, he lingered on her words.

“Betrayal....Angel....betrayal.......I can’t stand it....it’s killing me....”

“Min woo....after all that don’t you understand? She didn’t betray you...you betrayed her. She loved and trusted you with everything, she remembers everything you’ve ever done for her and she’s grateful yet look at yourself. Planning her future, her life, everything she does. She probably doesn’t even know who she is anymore and why? All because you claim to love her so much.....that’s just bull shit min woo.....”

“Stop it Angel stop it. I don’t want to hear all this...it’s not true....stop it....”

Min woo twisted on the floor and tried blocking out Angel’s words with his hands but Angel didn’t take notice and went on. She needed to tell him, or he would regret it in the end. She knew, like always.

“Have you ever told her you love her? I know you hint to her with everything you do but that’s not the same thing as telling her....if you really did why were you afraid to tell her? You didn’t want her to reject you, you can deny it now but you and I both know it’s the truth. You can complain now that she’s betrayed you but you never gave her a chance to say no did you? You never cared what she wanted to do with her life, who she wanted to love. She’s like your toy...and you want to dress her up the way you think will be best and brush her hair the way you think would suit her. She has no say in anything. She wasn’t living her own life....you were living it for her min woo....every second of it up until now—”

Before Angel could finish the sentence Min woo’s whole body lunged forward towards her and pushed her back into the side of a table. His left arm at her throat, near to choking her while the other hand waved around his alcohol bottle wildly. Not before long, a high pitched cracking of glass was heard, min woo’s bottle now laid smashed on the concrete path directly in front of the large window overlooking into the café. The window was in pieces inside and outside the café.

Min woo’s arm didn’t let Angel loose and his face moved in closer and closer that Angel could observe his pores if she wanted. With his heavy breathing and twitching eyes, he managed to converse a simple threat.

“You dare to say that again and I promise you will be sorry.”

Angel stared him the eye, searching for the min woo she missed so much. She knew he was there somewhere behind all the cuts and bruises and she was going to be the one to heal those wounds for him even if it cost her...everything.

She slowly opened her mouth.....

* * * * *

“I – MIN WOO...are you okay?”

As Angel started to push out the words she had kept inside her for so long once again, a sudden blur of events occurred. Before another syllable could be spoken, min woo was on the floor and she felt herself being pulled up from the ground.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HER??? HUH?? GET UP LEE MIN WOO....”

Min woo made no move to get up from the floor and wiped away the blood with his sleeve, staining the pure white cotton with a smudge of pure red colour. Angel, who was behind the figure didn’t notice who it was until she walked out from behind him and caught a glimpse of his side view.

“Hye sung.....? What....are you doing...?”

“Are you alright Angel? I came back to check on you.....luckily....”

Pulling her behind him again to avoid min woo’s sight, hye sung glared in min woo’s direction in distaste.

“What the hell did you do to her Lee min woo? If you dare to touch her again....EVER....I’ll make you regret ever walking on the face of this earth. You got me? Now get out of here.”

Hye sung spat out each and every word in precise making sure that he understood. Min woo was still on the floor, staring at the tiles in no particular expression, showing no particular emotion, dead, lifeless...that was Lee min woo. Angel stepped out slowly and moved towards min woo, escaping hye sung’s warning grasp, she approached him in a certain manner. He allowed her to lift him to his feet and dust off the excess from his shirt but the eyes still spoke no words. For once Angel couldn’t pin down his feelings, his thoughts or his next action.

Hye sung observed this in agony, the girl he loved so much was being a slave almost to this piece of crap and he made a grab for min woo’s collar. Angel, sensing his intentions sent a warning look in his direction and stopped his advancing, she knew it was all for her. Everything hye sung ever did, but if it meant harming min woo in any way she would be the first to stand up and stop him.

“Angel....why are you doing this to yourself? Tell him to get lost....go away.... something....just stop torturing yourself....”

Hye sung expressed exasperation with her in every way possible but Angel only smiled sourly in his direction and turned back to min woo. Her eyes dim, cuts around her face, sweat dripping down from her forehead, the state she was in ached hye sung’s heart yet Angel herself still went on with worrying about min woo.

“Hye sung.....thank you.....I needed someone to knock some sense into me.......” Min woo whispered staring at the empty café while Angel attended to his suit and dress condition. Hye sung only glared and turned his head away from the picture in front of him, how he longed to tear Angel away from min woo’s grasp yet he was the source of Angel’s laughter and tears. If anything ever happened to Lee min woo....heck...even he would give his life to saving min woo, only to see her smile. After min woo looked at least decent enough to walk onto the streets and still looked proper enough for his CEO image, Angel stopped and stood in front of him.

“Lee min woo....I know everything I’ve said today might have hurt you but please think about it....we’ve been friends for such a long time you know by now I want everything to be the best for you. If you think soo jin is best for you then clean up your act and get her back. You need to change that attitude of yours and really show her how much you love her. Communication min woo, stop assuming what’s best for her. ASK her what she thinks is best for herself. She would know better than you, any day. Just remember if you ever need anything I’ll be here to lend you a hand. Don’t think you’re alone.”

“I know.....I will think about it Angel.....and hye sung...I’m sorry and thanks for that little blow....I needed it...I really did....”

He tried to smile slightly but the cuts on his lips restricted this particular action so he only nodded in her direction and walked out of the shop slowly. Only after his lonely form merged into the gloomy night, Angel directed her attention towards a worried hye sung.

“Hey....thanks for coming back....but don’t worry ok? I’ll be fine, time heals all....you can go back now...I’ll have to stay until a bit later tonight. The window here needs to be changed and tied up for tomorrow.”

Hye sung’s protest did not even see light as Angel began to absorb into the cleaning and tidying of the café. He knew she wanted something to concentrate on and numb herself with so he swallowed his offer to help and stepped out into the night just as min woo had. Except this time he whispered a few words before leaving. Angel pretended not to perceive the sounds from his mouth but she did mentally acknowledge his comment.

I’m stupid...? I know....I know hye sung.....I know....but if being stupid is the only way I can be with him and stay near him.....I think I wouldn’t mind staying stupid forever...life’s meaningless...without him.....stupidity....it’s like a pain killer....I know the pain is there but as long as I don’t feel it.....it’s alright....I can live.....really....

Cinderella - Angel JJ [chapter 5]

Chapter 5

She didn’t notice his blood, he didn’t notice the small drops of unhealed wounds reflecting the sunlight in her eyes, and they remained unchanged. Both struggling in silence to mend the old and new injuries inflicted by that love they held most dearly in their heart, both failing miserably.

Hye sung slowly walked outside from the kitchen led by the laughter he found oddly familiar but just as he was approaching the table where Angel was sitting with soo jin, a figure caught his attention. Before Hye sung could take a closer look, the figure turned around, head down and shoulders slumped, blending into the backdrop of the busy street. The dejection radiated surprised hye sung and involuntarily he walked over to the door for another glance. When he had drawn near to the still in light swing door, the figure’s back fully vanished and hye sung was left in uncertainty and curiosity. One thing he failed to notice was the smudge of red produced under his foot when walking to Angel’s table. He had stepped on one person’s path in accepting reality.

* * * * *

“Ah! Hye sung oppa!!!”

“Soo jin...nice to see you again...”

Reaching the table and coming up behind Angel, hye sung was greeted with a shout of surprise and happiness from soo jin. It wasn’t a surprise to him because from past experiences when soo jin came to the café hye sung rarely stayed to welcome her. He would always manage to go missing until soo jin leaves. Angel always found this weird but she never enquired as she was the one who consistently displayed her expertise in the field of running away from questions. He must be very good at it now too, after all, he did observe the best in action.

Angel quickly turned around and raised her face upwards to look at hye sung’s face. She was lost, unable to think, she needed someone familiar with her. Hye sung, who was smiling in soo jin’s direction exchanged his cheerful expression for one of worry. One glimpse of Angel’s expression related back to him a thousand words. The loss, the pain, the frustration, it was unmistakable. For the first time she wasn’t holding back and concealing her feelings behind a disguise, everything laid on her face, her eyes speaking out. Something tugged continuously at the back of hye sung’s head, something he was straining to remember, and something that seemed almost critical. No matter what, he just couldn’t place his finger on it.

“Oppa? OPPA!!??”

“Huh? Oh...soo jin...were you saying something?”

“Aish...you and Angel unnie are so weird today. Is anything wrong?”

“Huh? No...of course not...so you were saying?”

Soo jin eyed him suspiciously as he took a seat but she let it pass.

“Oppa, this is Danny, and this is hye sung oppa. He works here with unnie and Danny is my boyfriend.”

After several hand gestures and introductions, soo jin finally settled back down and smiled happily. Unfortunately, her high spirits couldn’t penetrate through the two invisible barriers in front of her.

Boyfriend......but.....Angel said......does....min woo know....?

Hye sung sat there and stared, reminiscence of the stare Angel demonstrated when she had found out. In front of him, Danny sat sipping his coffee and looked at soo jin adoringly. Both neglecting and forgetting the outside world. Suddenly, hye sung’s head jerked towards the door and then back to Angel and then Danny, taking a close look at each. His mind worked furiously, trying to piece together the puzzle and within a few seconds, realisation hit.

He....knows.....he...actually knows.....

Hye sung knew the figure he had seen before exerted a certain familiarity. It was now obvious, thinking back. That outward appearance and outline could only be one person. Lee min woo. Hye sung shook his head and turned to watch Angel, whose eyes never lifted up once to look at soo jin. Instead, they kept tracing the outlines of her cup with uttermost fascination. He couldn’t understand. Her thoughts, her feelings, her mind, they were all mazes he was trapped in. Every time he thought he was close to the end, another turn appears out of no where and complicates things. The mazes were never ending unless he gave up. It was unfortunate he hated giving up, especially when it came to Angel. If giving up was an option in this game, he would have given up a long time ago. A long, long time ago.

* * * * *

Min woo walked out slowly, everything out of mind and out of sight. Only soo jin and her words remained.

My boyfriend....Danny....my boyfriend....love.....boyfriend....Danny...

Min woo agonized over the voices and quickly threw himself into his black Ferrari. Tossing his jacket to the backseat, he rested his head on the steering wheel and tried to think everything over. Little moments throughout his life with soo jin played back in his head and the memories of her smiling face pained him. The smiles after all were no longer for him. Her every expression, every action, every movement were like snap shots stored in his head, except these shots never faded away. The colours always remained at high quality, no rips on the sides, and no creases in the middle. They were all perfect, just like soo jin herself.

I loved you soo jin....I really did....why did you have to do this to me.....I can give you everything you ever wanted and more.....why do you like him...why.....why......you’re supposed to be mine.......I brought you up...I cherished you like a star in my palms....nothing could hurt you when I was around....I made sure of it....what more do you want.....what more???......

Throughout these thoughts, his attention suddenly diverged onto something else.

Funny.....you can be betrayed by the people you trusted most on the same day....could anything hurt more...? Angel...I treated you like my best friend....I confided in you about everything and let you go so close to my inner self it was sometimes threatening...and what do I get for this....I was right at the beginning....I was always right....I shouldn’t have trusted anyone...because look at what has happened....I should have saw this coming.....you betrayed me Angel....why didn’t you tell me? Is it because seeing me locked up in my own little world was somewhat amusing to you? Did you find me funny? Being played around soo jin’s little fingers....I trusted you....but I no longer do.....if you knew...why....didn’t you tell me?? To spare me at least some of this torment....you don’t know how much it hurts...I want to know why....I need to know.....

Punching his fist on the plastic interior of his car, min woo sat up and brushed his hair off his face with a swift action of the hand. He was finished mourning, he wanted answers and he wasn’t going to get them by sitting there. Taking a look at his watch, it was 6.30 pm and in two more hours Angel’s café would be closed and she would be there by herself cleaning. He would approach her then. Min woo set his mind to question Angel and her actions. Her betrayal was just as or maybe even more suffocating than soo jin’s. Angel knew, she knew everything going on in his mind. This thought cut him deeply, he never realised how much he relied on her until now, and it was because of this his anger changed direction and aimed itself at Angel’s heart. Min woo was selfish, he was uneducated. The pain he had just gone through could probably not even add up to one tenth of Angel’s pain and stress over him yet now he was going to unleash his worst side in her face. She was his target, every little amount of anger he hid inside was going to find their way to Angel and she was to take all the blame.

Starting up the car, min woo stepped down hard and remained at constant speed, whizzing through the highways, his hair blowing fiercely in the wind. He wanted to circle around the place and release at least some of his aggression, he didn’t even want to think about what he would cause if he kept on like he did. Taking in the nightlights of Seoul, as everything else that was blur were hard to make out, he traced the city with four wheels. Just a little while left before he could at least make sense of the situation even if it was to a small extent.

* * * * *

“Oh, look at the time...Danny and I better be going.”

Soo jin stood up and grabbed her jacket all the while talking to Angel and hye sung who both hadn’t moved an inch since soo jin’s startling revelation.

“Oh...ok....well....come again soon....”

Angel smiled weakly whilst gazing at the clock on the other side of the room. 8.20 pm. She would have to start cleaning up soon. Angel received another queer look from soo jin but Angel pretended she didn’t see. Soo jin shrugged at a confused Danny and they walked out together with a last wave of goodbye.

As soon as soo jin was out of sight, Angel slumped back onto the chair and rested on the table with her face in her hands.

“Angel? Are you ok?”

“Leave me alone...”

“Angel...”

“Hye sung....please......just...leave me alone...please.....”

Hye sung sat down to comfort Angel but she couldn’t even lift her face up to look him in the eyes. Maybe she was ashamed, she didn’t understand why but to let hye sung watch her break down like this, she couldn’t bare it.

Hye sung sighed and observed her limp body shaking slightly in the chair, how he longed to pull her close and comfort her yet he couldn’t. Shaking his head, he reached for his own jacket and walked out of the café giving Angel the space she needed. He wanted to talk everything over with her, he knew her so well, if she didn’t get everything out she would start to dwell and lose herself. However, that would be when he came back. Right at this moment nothing could guide her through the misery and thoughts except herself. If she didn’t see through all of this, the light from above the pitch black hole would never reach her eyes, the beautiful eyes that use to sparkle with so much laughter and joy. The eyes she was a proud owner of, before she met him. This was his fault. Lee min woo.

Hye sung stepped outside and walked. He had no destination, no purpose, just a direction, forward. He wanted to lose himself, in this night, this dark and starless night. Looking up, nothing glimmered in the sky.

Angel.....can you see? Even though the clouds are covering our guardian angels tonight....you still have me...I’ll guide you....I’ll lead you.....just....hold out your hand...I beg you......let me help you.....

* * * * *

Angel, sensing the loss of warmth around her, finally lifted her head and looked around at the deserted café, the café that once brought smiles to her lips now looked dead and lifeless. Or was it just her? Was she the one that was lifeless and dead? Taking and deep breath in, she stood up and started to clean up. She was already running behind schedule tonight. With her android like movements and expression, nothing could trigger her awareness for the atmosphere around her, which was why she failed to notice the silhouette leaning against the door frame and peering at her with such disgust. He watched in stealth, in silence, in thought, in calculation. It wouldn’t have been wrong if it was said he wanted her to share his pain. But what he was going to do was much worse. She would allow him to destroy her, in every way possible. She would allow him to play with her emotions, to toy with her heart, to throw away her feelings. Only because she loved him.

Angel, with her back to the door and washing up, suddenly felt a light and cold breeze pass through the room. The hairs on her neck stood up and she quickly turned off the tap. Taking the closest towel, she wiped her hand frantically, wanting to get away from the sink and still she failed to notice the figure now behind her. In an instant, a cold hand grabbed her arm and turned her around with a sudden yank. Her whole body fell towards the person and now they were so close she could barely make out his features. Her breathing quickened its pace and her heart thumped in trepidation. The hand was never loosened from Angel’s arm and by now, the blood was stopped from its circulation and her arm was turning a dark red. He didn’t notice, or he didn’t care. He brought her face up with his other and looked her in the eyes.

Angel froze. Those eyes....

Min woo....what’s wrong.......I’m so....scared....what are you doing....min woo....let...go.....it hurts.....please.....let go of me......

She twisted her arm, she struggled but the grip was as tight as ever. He didn't want her to get away. He wanted her to pay.

Cinderella - Angel JJ [chapter 3+4]

Chapter 3

Angel quickly packed away the tables and checked herself in the mirror making sure she looked alright.

“Angel why do you do this to yourself?” Her work partner shook his head and looked at her sadly. He knew exactly what had been happening these two years, he watched her through all the pain and suffering in silence. He wanted to reach out, but she never let him, she was always distant when it came to emotions.

“What are you talking about hye sung?” Angel curved the sides of her lips up in sorrow and asked innocently. She knew what he was talking about, she was just in denial.

Hye sung smiled warmly in understanding and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “You be careful ok? Have fun and don’t think too much.”

He viewed her lovingly and gave her hand one last squeeze, just for good luck. Angel knew he meant well, he was always there for her but she didn’t want to hurt him, she knew what it felt like.

“I’ll be careful...I’ve never let my guard down before....I don’t think it will change this time.”

She smiled genuinely to reassure her worried friend and walked to the door. She had seen him when he arrived, his form leaning slightly on the door, as always. She didn’t need to see him, she sensed his presence.

“Hey, you’re early.”

“I know...did you get the present? I wanted to make sure...I don’t want anything to go wrong tonight.”

“Here it is...I’m sure she’ll like this. Let’s go.”

Angel handed him the flawlessly wrapped box and led him outside. Her smile never faltered once but her heart was already aching. Min woo started the car and another night of struggle started within Angel.

Whoever told me letting go was easy should just visit heaven right now...because it’s not...it hurts....it kills...holding on will ensure my survival....yet letting go....it’s not possible...

* * * * *

Angel entered min woo’s house behind him and spotted soo jin at first sight from afar, it wasn’t hard to distinguish soo jin from the crowd for two reasons. One being soo jin, with her petite figure, delicate features and an angelic aura was one of a kind. She stood out like white light in a dark room. Another reason was because min woo’s eyes followed behind soo jin wherever he was in the room. When he couldn’t see her, he would always be searching among the crowds and Angel knew this because her eyes followed his every move.

“Angel unnie!!!”

“Happy graduation soo jin! Hope you like the present.”

Soo jin, who kept glancing back to the front door from her group of friends saw Angel enter with min woo and made her way to them in a flash. Smiling happily, soo jin bounced towards Angel and gave her a big bear hug, then grinned dorkily at min woo.

“Soo jin yah...min woo oppa and Angel bought this for you. Open it and have a look.”

“Oh...wow....this is great...thanks oppa.”

She jumped and gave min woo a grateful hug. Min woo, sensing her happiness put his arms around her and pulled her in close. Angel observed this from afar and said nothing. This wasn’t her domain, she was just an outsider. She backed to the side and moved her way into the centre of the room where the waiters were holding up drinks. Taking a glass of wine herself, she looked around at the content faces and sat down on the sofa. Min woo’s house, or mansion should it be called, was massive. Three stories and very spacious, something she could only dream about. It was times like this she wondered what she would be like if she had stayed in America and attended graduate school at Harvard. A better life, more fulfilling, however she never regretted staying in Seoul. Only because he was here.

Angel finished up her first glass of wine and started on another, until soo jin came in search of her and dragged her to see a friend of hers.

“Angel unnie, you have to see Danny, he’s right over there. Come on, I’ll show you.”

Whilst dragging Angel, soo jin spoke excitedly of her friend Danny.

“Danny? Who’s Danny? You’ve never told me about him before.”

Angel questioned her but was cut off by soo jin pointing wildly in a direction towards a crowd of people near the snack table.

“Look!! Unnie, see the guy with the light brown hair? He’s Danny.”

Angel searched the group of people together and finally spotted the Danny soo jin was going crazy over.

“Oh, ok.”

“What do you think?”

“Um...he’s cute?”

“JUST cute?? Unnie!! He’s great!!”

“Soo jin yah...are you not telling me something?”

Soo jin looked away guiltily and tightened her small cherry lips. Angel rose an eyebrow and questioned her once again.

“Not really unnie...I just...well...I really really like Danny.”

Angel stared at her dumbstruck, if soo jin meant what Angel thought she had meant...then...

“Soo jin? Are you telling me you’re going out?”

“No no...He doesn’t know I exist. He came here today because I got my friend to invite him. He’s been in two of my classes this year and...”

Soo jin’s explanation trailed off to nothingness but Angel got the point.

“You like him?”

Nodding, soo jin replied, “I think he likes me too. I have hinted to him before. Ooo...unnie...I’m so scared. What if he doesn’t like me? I’m planning to ask him out.”

“But soo jin ah....what about....”

“SOO JIN! Over here.”

“Okay! Coming. Sorry unnie, I’ll talk to you later! Danny’s over there. Have fun okay?”

As Angel was about to speak she was cut off by soo jin’s friend who called out to them and soo jin quickly hurried off in the direction of her friends, eyes sparkling like a child who knew a secret. Angel watched her run off and disappear into the people around her. She didn’t know what to think, say, how to react, her mind was a blank.

But soo jin ah...what about min woo....what are you doing? It wasn’t suppose to happen like this....you’re not suppose to....your min woo oppa...what are you doing soo jin???.....

* * * * *

Min woo scanned around the room in search of Angel to tell her the news and found her in the corner gawking in soo jin’s direction. Angel’s medium length, layered black hair stood out from the mass of young teenagers as everyone else followed the times and had highlights or just fully coloured hair. She wore no makeup but her flawlessly milky coloured skin made it very hard to believe indeed. Min woo often wondered why Angel was still single, from when he had met her till now she had not dated once, in fact, she never even went out with any guys. He never questioned her about this, it was something that they both understood, and no matter how much they shared with each other, their emotions would forever be concealed. Sure he would tell her about soo jin but that was different, it didn’t concern them, it didn’t complicate things, he hated complications.

Noticing he’d been staring at Angel for some time, he finally made his way over and caught her just in time as she stood up to leave.

“Angel, where are you going?”

“Oh, I’m not feeling well...”

Angel looked away and blushed slightly, but she was intent on believing that the wine caused this effect.

“Oh, do you need a lift home?”

Min woo asked casually but behind that mask was deep worry, if only Angel was concentrating enough she would have noticed. But she just shook her head sadly and edged towards the door.

“No, I’m sure you want to stay with soo jin tonight. I’ll take a taxi home or something. So...see you tomorrow?”

“Wait...”

Min woo grabbed her arm just as she stepped outside and her heart almost stopped.

Are you...worried about me? Can it be....?

“Angel, I was just talking to my father and we’ve both decided that we want soo jin to settle down.”

Soo jin...what was I thinking...who else could make him lose that hardened ice wall...the wall I’ve been trying to melt...the wall that’s keeping me away....I hate feeling like this...to watch but not be able to touch.....it’s painful...

“Settle down? What do you mean?”

“Well we’ve discussed it for quite awhile already, even before soo jin’s graduation and we’ve decided that soo jin and I should get engaged. I wouldn’t want her to run off with someone else now would I?”

Min woo’s attempt at a joke received no slight outcome on Angel’s face and sensing her awkward expression he quickly took it as something else.

“Oh don’t worry about soo jin, I don’t want to tie her down until she’s ready so this is just an engagement. Nothing else.”

He explained and glanced over at soo jin adoringly over his shoulder.

Angel couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t comply, her mind uncomprehending. She watched soo jin laughing happily with her friends, with Danny.

It’s so nice to see you smile soo jin....because your smile is synonymous to min woo’s...I’m not greedy...if I can’t see his smiling face...to know that he feels the joy on your face every time he sees you....to know that you bring delight and warmth into his life....it’s enough...really....what more could I want...? What more could I...possibly...get...

But soo jin....why are you doing this to him? What if he finds out.....pain....the effects on him.....I wish you could help me...just this one time....even if I had to beg you....please don’t hurt him soo jin.....I’m depending on it....

“Angel?”

“Uh? Oh...yeh...that would be great. So don’t forget to invite me okay?”

Zombie like movements led her outside and leaving behind min woo’s calls, she made her way down the street...alone. Everything was thrown out of her mind and she did not even know where she would begin to think, to understand, to figure this all out.

It’s going to be a long night....a long walk...where is my destination...? Where am I going? Why am I walking? What’s happening?

Chapter 4

She tossed, she turned, she was beginning to let go...or so she thought. Angel woke up extra early the next morning and took out the iced spoons she tucked in the freezer when she got home the night before. She figured she would need them in the morning, and she was right, as she observed her puffy red eyes in the mirror.

I’m in such a mess....how did I end up like this....I’m a joke...

Shaking her head in dismay she took a deep breath in and cleared up her head. It felt as if it was ready to burst after all that she put it through yesterday night.

Angel...you need to get yourself out....stop caring...stop thinking...just....stop....

She thought to herself in the mirror and splashed a few handfuls of icy water on her face. Taking the clothes off the rack behind the door, she proceeded to dress and get ready to go to work. A ruthless day lay ahead, filled with harsh truths she would have to face one by one, each cutting into her like a sharp knife, but it was ok. She just needed to endure so much before the pain went away, if the pain was to ever disappear.

* * * * *

It only took one look at Angel for hye sung to drop everything from his hands and come running to her.

“Angel...what happened??? Are you ok?”

“No...I’m not hye sung....but...I will be...”

Angel’s fingers touched her swollen eyes lightly and was reminded once again of last night. Hye sung studied her closely trying to figure out the surge of emotions swirling within her eyes. She looked peaceful enough skin deep but he was worried, peace before a storm they say and that was what scared him the most.

“I will be...really....just you watch...”

Noting his worries, Angel turned around and comforted him instead. She knew what it felt like to watch loved ones in pain yet not being able to do anything about it. The helplessness was overwhelming; in no way she would want hye sung to experience it too. Angel checked herself in the mirror once more and headed out from the kitchen to serve. It was a brand new day, and like someone once said, ‘life can be summed up in three words...it goes on...’, Angel didn’t want to dwell, she hated dwelling.

“What happened yesterday?”

“Hye sung....I’m letting go...”

“Angel...”

“No...Really...I’m probably going to be a bridesmaid at their wedding. My job....it’s finished....”

I hope....funny how the mind works....if I help him to win...I end up losing...yet the thought of him losing is unbearable....love....who said it was sweet.....this is love....and it kills.....

Angel smiled an authentic Angel smile and started clearing up the tables leaving hye sung to stare. Helplessly....

Angel...stop...doing this to yourself.....what did he do.....Lee min woo....you must be the dumbest guy on earth....to let Angel slip from your grasp.....the dumbest....

* * * * *

8 days came and went, yet still Min woo failed to continue his 4.30 pm routine into Angel’s café. Consciously she denied counting the days as they went by but her subconscious always got the better of her.

Maybe....the arrangements....are taking awhile....after all....everything has to be perfect....perfect for soo jin.....

The thoughts and worries of Danny were tossed to the back of her head in the absence of min woo. Automatically Angel wanted everything to go smoothly for him. Soo jin’s reaction, the planning right down to the decorations and wedding dress. The idea of a twist in all of this was definitely out of the question. She would be the first one to reject the idea. It wouldn’t be imaginable....it wouldn’t....

As Angel continued her far away looks into thin air whilst washing the coffee cups, a subconscious reaction to a faint shout was registered and pulled her back into reality. Soo jin, looking her fabulous self was standing at the door and beamed in her direction. A dark and slightly taller figure stood behind, covered by soo jin. Soo jin ran into the café and plopped herself on one of the chairs behind the bench in front of Angel. Before Angel could utter a sound, let alone a word, soo jin brought the stranger out of the dark. He was a stranger, until Angel took a good look at him and her heart sank. Soo jin’s fingers were entwined in his and the smile she directed to him was one Angel had never caught a glimpse of before. It was that smile of satisfaction, happiness......and....love...

Danny.......

Angel stared at them together in front of her with mixed emotions. Anger, disbelief, joy, grief...she felt them all. All tugging at her already worn out senses. Soo jin, being her ignorant self was too absorbed in her world of sweetness to notice Angel let alone her expressions and feelings. She rattled on, unable to stop, not wanting to stop. She wanted to share her happiness with Angel, in spite of the hurt Angel was going through. At any expense, soo jin was the most important.

I sometimes feel sorry towards you soo jin.....maybe I am a bad person...because everything I do....is to help min woo...you’re a great girl soo jin....and I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive your unnie.....I love him.....so.....much....

* * * * *

Finally finishing the cleaning up, Angel led soo jin and Danny to a table looking out the window doors of the café and sat down to listen to soo jin without distraction. Soo jin’s contentment was the curtain of obliviousness towards her surroundings, feelings included. She felt she wanted to spread her joy, her laughter.

“Unnie, this is Danny....last time I never got to introduce him to you....”

“Hi...nuna....can I call you that?”

He smiled politely and shook Angel’s hands and in response she nodded and smiled back. Sincere or not, it was the best she could possibly do.

“Soo jin, has min woo talked to you after the party?”

“Huh? Oppa? Oh he had an urgent call from America that night and he went to attend to some business. I think he may be back in these couple of days.”

The first thing out of Angel’s mouth was to question min woo’s whereabouts. The sight in front of her was too much to handle and she couldn’t even think about the way min woo would react...or reacted....but luckily he didn’t know. Just yet. Angel finally understood his absence these 8 days.

“Did he want to tell me something?”

“Oh? No...I was just wondering....nothing much...”

“Ok...so anyway unnie...I have to tell you some good news...”

Angel quickly concealed her mood from her face and replaced it with a smiling mask.

“Yes?”

Bringing their intertwined hands onto the table for Angel to notice, which she already did, soo jin took a slightly shy peek at Danny. He gave her an encouraging smile, which made soo jin blush and mutter the words, “Unnie....Danny....is my boyfriend.”

It was barely audible yet the effect of the simple confession sent Angel into an emotional disarray.

Boyfriend......soo jin.....you can’t........how will he feel...the rejection.....the.... betrayal.....min woo.....

Angel experienced the aching in her heart, but it was nothing compared to the person standing at the door. The news hit him without any reservation, the daggers hurled at him without any notice. He was thrown into a world of the unknown. He was thrown into Angel’s world. His fist was so tightly clutched he could feel the nails dig into his palms and the blood slowly trickling down. No one warned him, no one even suggested this other realm of reality to him. He knew pain, his hands did hurt....but he never knew the hurt one could experience when your heart was dented with a small cut and the throbbing it could cause. Until now. Everything...until now.....