Chapter 6
“Does it hurt? Does it?”
He tightened his grip to a degree Angel began to lose feel of her arm but she no longer struggled to break free from him. His feelings-stripped eyes caused her to stir. Something about the way he looked at her, he spoke to her sent shivers down her spine. Angel had never seen min woo like this before and it was obvious something was wrong. She ceased to keep up her concern for her arm because there was something else of more importance she wanted to address. Lee min woo and his state of mind right at that moment. She didn’t understand, for once she did not understand where min woo was coming from.
“Min woo....when did you get back? What’s wrong....?”
She enquired in a barely audible whisper, to say she wasn’t scared would be a lie but her worry and concern for min woo was overpowering her fear.
“Do you care?”
He sneered and pulled her even closer to him by the arm. He didn’t care if her expression was distorted in pain. He didn’t care if she was being ripped into pieces inside. He didn’t care if her heart cried out to him. He did not care about her.
Of course I care....it’s stupid how much I care......I feel stupid yet I still struggle to keep up this stupid act....call me stupid.....no....what am I thinking.....you don’t know me....you don’t understand me.....you are the only one that fails to see this side....is it because you fail to see me?
Angel turned her head away from his face and looked everywhere except at the person in front of her. The alcohol smell made her cringe, not because she disliked the smell but because she knew he had been drinking and hurting himself. Watching his eyes echoing the pain he was in slashed her inside.
“Look at me...are you scared after what you have done?”
“Done? What are you talking about....?’
“Don’t play innocent. You knew all along didn’t you?”
She looked at him in genuine puzzlement.
“What did I know? What is wrong with you today...???”
Angel expressed her exasperation over his actions in the only way she could, with words. She wished he could release his hand from her arm. Somewhere deep inside she felt afraid to see him right now. The amount of emotion he put forth in her face was unbelievable. Not once in the two years had Angel ever seen him exercise the muscles on his face so much, let alone to lose control like this. She was more comfortable when he observed and spoke to her with that personalised unchanging mask, she was used to that way of communication between them. It was the norm. This was not. She didn’t want to associate with this side of him, she was too scared to see this side of him.
“What’s wrong with me? You know what...everything....and you should know why.....why didn’t you tell me? HUH? WHY? Did you feel a sense of pleasure to imagine my suffering like this? Are you happy now that I know??? Are you? TELL ME!! ARE YOU?”
Min woo shook Angel fiercely and flung her aside, intentional or not, Angel fell directly towards the tables and the corner of one table jabbed her hard in the back. The pain shot through her and she slowly sank down onto the floor clutching to one side of her shirt. Distorting it in a way it somehow represented the pain she was in. The turmoil she was experiencing wasn’t oblivious to min woo but he couldn’t bring himself to even look at her.
“Lee min woo.....if you are just here to discharge your innermost anguish then I suggest you get out. Or if you really have something to say then get your act together. You look like a total mess.”
Not matter how much the turbulence disturbed her inside, Angel held onto to the urge to shed the pain physically. The crystals brimming from her eyes glistened at certain angles but the strong will power and self control Angel demonstrated prevented the glimmer to slide down her pale face. She knew min woo needed her, she couldn’t break down in front of him. Whatever it was going to take, Angel wanted to look strong and so she reined in her emotions, just for him. She wanted...she needed to be there when he needed her. This was all in the contract she signed and stored away in the depths of her worn out heart. If only she could find that contract again....she would rip it to pieces but she can't....it would be a part of her....forever.
* * * * *
Seconds passed like minutes, minutes passed like hours. How long it had been since they began this silence was the least of their thoughts.
“So...why didn’t you tell me?”
Min woo finally turned his head slightly and let his voice carry through to the trembling Angel who was still on the floor comprehending the pain in her stomach. She sighed and didn’t answer, she would have if this wasn’t already the twentieth time he had asked and she hadn’t already answered the question nineteen times before this. Noting her lack of movement, min woo finally turned around to stare at her on the floor whilst asking the question.
“I know Angel....about soo jin.....I know about it....”
Min woo whispered half angered, half in despair. At the mention of soo jin all the pain she was suffering were thrown to the back of her head and Angel’s eyes finally lifted to catch his expression, his gaze unseen. It was like he was in awe because he had finally figured out the meaning of life. He knew the future and the past, but he forgot everything else around him.
“How.....how do you know?”
“I was outside today....I came back from
And his voice trailed off into the distant breeze of nothingness blowing in freely from the wide open entrance. Angel’s bottom lip quivered slightly and the tears formed an almost invisible barrier over her view.
Wedding dress....that’s why you went.....the wedding dress......like you said....the special custom designed gown you purchased..........just like your soo jin.....the one and only......
You went to all the trouble just for a dress....I’m so sorry min woo....I can only imagine the pain you must be going through right now......if there was any way for me to endure all this for you...I would....but I can’t min woo.....I can’t.....I’m sorry....You have to get yourself out of this....I’ll be right here....holding on and helping you through this.....trust me.....
“I think you misunderstood me....I didn’t know anything about Danny until today. I met him at the party but I didn’t realise it would.....turn out like this.....I’m sorry...”
Min woo’s lifeless eyes suddenly grew bright and his head turned abruptly to face Angel.
“What do you mean? You didn’t know until today? How’s that possible...I don’t understand.....”
“You didn’t try to understand....I don’t know what made you blame this on me but that’s not the point....if it makes you feel any better then I’d be happy to stand right here and be your punching bag. But you’re not doing anything useful. If you really love her then go barge into her room and tell her min woo. Get her back, do something....”
.....because it hurts me when I see you like this....if you really do love her....you’ll get her back....won’t you min woo?
Min woo adopted his unseen gaze again and sank down to the floor, in line with Angel.
“But....she looked so happy.....she was laughing and smiling....I’ve never seen her smile so much......she was like someone else....not the small princess I’ve cherished since forever........something about her was different....the joy......and delight.....I wish........but she isn’t my little princess anymore.....but I don’t understand...after all I’ve done.......letting go....I can’t.....I.....can’t.....”
Min woo spoke to no one in particular but his murmurs continued and Angel’s sharp sense of hearing caught every word, every sigh, everything.
“.....letting go....you don’t know the start to letting go.......I don’t...want you to.....but....min woo....she’s gone now.....seeing her today made me realise....she’s been a pawn in the mind games we play.....we’re the same kind of people min woo....you and I......and we’ve been hurting her.....maybe it’s time to let her spread her wings and find herself.....she’s grown up....she’s no longer the little girl that needs to be held so close to us and caged up.....”
Angel spoke without much feeling but her words were powerful, they didn’t need to be thought up, every word was from the heart. Even though min woo’s head was down and now had a bottle of liquor in his hand, taking gulps every now and then, he lingered on her words.
“Betrayal....Angel....betrayal.......I can’t stand it....it’s killing me....”
“Min woo....after all that don’t you understand? She didn’t betray you...you betrayed her. She loved and trusted you with everything, she remembers everything you’ve ever done for her and she’s grateful yet look at yourself. Planning her future, her life, everything she does. She probably doesn’t even know who she is anymore and why? All because you claim to love her so much.....that’s just bull shit min woo.....”
“Stop it Angel stop it. I don’t want to hear all this...it’s not true....stop it....”
Min woo twisted on the floor and tried blocking out Angel’s words with his hands but Angel didn’t take notice and went on. She needed to tell him, or he would regret it in the end. She knew, like always.
“Have you ever told her you love her? I know you hint to her with everything you do but that’s not the same thing as telling her....if you really did why were you afraid to tell her? You didn’t want her to reject you, you can deny it now but you and I both know it’s the truth. You can complain now that she’s betrayed you but you never gave her a chance to say no did you? You never cared what she wanted to do with her life, who she wanted to love. She’s like your toy...and you want to dress her up the way you think will be best and brush her hair the way you think would suit her. She has no say in anything. She wasn’t living her own life....you were living it for her min woo....every second of it up until now—”
Before Angel could finish the sentence Min woo’s whole body lunged forward towards her and pushed her back into the side of a table. His left arm at her throat, near to choking her while the other hand waved around his alcohol bottle wildly. Not before long, a high pitched cracking of glass was heard, min woo’s bottle now laid smashed on the concrete path directly in front of the large window overlooking into the café. The window was in pieces inside and outside the café.
Min woo’s arm didn’t let Angel loose and his face moved in closer and closer that Angel could observe his pores if she wanted. With his heavy breathing and twitching eyes, he managed to converse a simple threat.
“You dare to say that again and I promise you will be sorry.”
Angel stared him the eye, searching for the min woo she missed so much. She knew he was there somewhere behind all the cuts and bruises and she was going to be the one to heal those wounds for him even if it cost her...everything.
She slowly opened her mouth.....
* * * * *
“I – MIN WOO...are you okay?”
As Angel started to push out the words she had kept inside her for so long once again, a sudden blur of events occurred. Before another syllable could be spoken, min woo was on the floor and she felt herself being pulled up from the ground.
“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HER??? HUH?? GET UP LEE MIN WOO....”
Min woo made no move to get up from the floor and wiped away the blood with his sleeve, staining the pure white cotton with a smudge of pure red colour. Angel, who was behind the figure didn’t notice who it was until she walked out from behind him and caught a glimpse of his side view.
“Hye sung.....? What....are you doing...?”
“Are you alright Angel? I came back to check on you.....luckily....”
Pulling her behind him again to avoid min woo’s sight, hye sung glared in min woo’s direction in distaste.
“What the hell did you do to her Lee min woo? If you dare to touch her again....EVER....I’ll make you regret ever walking on the face of this earth. You got me? Now get out of here.”
Hye sung spat out each and every word in precise making sure that he understood. Min woo was still on the floor, staring at the tiles in no particular expression, showing no particular emotion, dead, lifeless...that was Lee min woo. Angel stepped out slowly and moved towards min woo, escaping hye sung’s warning grasp, she approached him in a certain manner. He allowed her to lift him to his feet and dust off the excess from his shirt but the eyes still spoke no words. For once Angel couldn’t pin down his feelings, his thoughts or his next action.
Hye sung observed this in agony, the girl he loved so much was being a slave almost to this piece of crap and he made a grab for min woo’s collar. Angel, sensing his intentions sent a warning look in his direction and stopped his advancing, she knew it was all for her. Everything hye sung ever did, but if it meant harming min woo in any way she would be the first to stand up and stop him.
“Angel....why are you doing this to yourself? Tell him to get lost....go away.... something....just stop torturing yourself....”
Hye sung expressed exasperation with her in every way possible but Angel only smiled sourly in his direction and turned back to min woo. Her eyes dim, cuts around her face, sweat dripping down from her forehead, the state she was in ached hye sung’s heart yet Angel herself still went on with worrying about min woo.
“Hye sung.....thank you.....I needed someone to knock some sense into me.......” Min woo whispered staring at the empty café while Angel attended to his suit and dress condition. Hye sung only glared and turned his head away from the picture in front of him, how he longed to tear Angel away from min woo’s grasp yet he was the source of Angel’s laughter and tears. If anything ever happened to Lee min woo....heck...even he would give his life to saving min woo, only to see her smile. After min woo looked at least decent enough to walk onto the streets and still looked proper enough for his CEO image, Angel stopped and stood in front of him.
“Lee min woo....I know everything I’ve said today might have hurt you but please think about it....we’ve been friends for such a long time you know by now I want everything to be the best for you. If you think soo jin is best for you then clean up your act and get her back. You need to change that attitude of yours and really show her how much you love her. Communication min woo, stop assuming what’s best for her. ASK her what she thinks is best for herself. She would know better than you, any day. Just remember if you ever need anything I’ll be here to lend you a hand. Don’t think you’re alone.”
“I know.....I will think about it Angel.....and hye sung...I’m sorry and thanks for that little blow....I needed it...I really did....”
He tried to smile slightly but the cuts on his lips restricted this particular action so he only nodded in her direction and walked out of the shop slowly. Only after his lonely form merged into the gloomy night, Angel directed her attention towards a worried hye sung.
“Hey....thanks for coming back....but don’t worry ok? I’ll be fine, time heals all....you can go back now...I’ll have to stay until a bit later tonight. The window here needs to be changed and tied up for tomorrow.”
Hye sung’s protest did not even see light as Angel began to absorb into the cleaning and tidying of the café. He knew she wanted something to concentrate on and numb herself with so he swallowed his offer to help and stepped out into the night just as min woo had. Except this time he whispered a few words before leaving. Angel pretended not to perceive the sounds from his mouth but she did mentally acknowledge his comment.
I’m stupid...? I know....I know hye sung.....I know....but if being stupid is the only way I can be with him and stay near him.....I think I wouldn’t mind staying stupid forever...life’s meaningless...without him.....stupidity....it’s like a pain killer....I know the pain is there but as long as I don’t feel it.....it’s alright....I can live.....really....
No comments:
Post a Comment