Chapter 8
Angel stepped into the café but this morning the surroundings were different. There was no sweet coffee beans aroma swirling around and the happy faces greeting her at the counter. She took a seat near the window and ordered a mocha with extra chocolate. When the waitress took her order and headed for the counter, Angel had a strange urge to follow her and take her own order but when she realised what she was thinking, a shake of the head and small smile settled that crazy thought. Maybe she really was getting too used to her café. Angel sat quietly observing the outside world through the large glass windows that sparkled in the sunlight, waiting. The wait was fortunately only very short, he had arrived a few moments after the arrival of her mocha order.
“Angel...”
He called out and took a seat in front of her as he drew near. She looked up from her coffee and nodded to acknowledge his arrival.
“Morning min woo...”
“I’m so glad you could make it.”
“When have I not come at your call.....I guess this time is no different...”
“Thanks....really....”
“No need....so what’s the big occasion?”
“Actually....to tell you the truth.....I’ve been thinking a lot these past few weeks and I was hoping you could help me with something.”
Angel nodded and urged him to continue. Min woo took a deep breath and stared her straight in the eyes.
“Before I say anything I want you to know that what I’m going to ask you has been thought over and I don’t consider it just a rash decision.”
She frowned, puzzled but did not dwell.
“Okay....I understand...so what did you want to ask me?”
“Do you remember when we use to discuss our views on relationships and love? When we told each other everything about what we wanted in our love lives?”
“Yeah.....what are you implying?”
“Well...I remember so well what you had said. You said you wanted someone you could trust and rely on and it didn’t matter if you weren’t madly in love with each other.....right?”
“I never knew your memory was so precise....”
“It wasn’t something I could forget.....”
Angel smiled but said nothing. He took her silence as encouragement for continuing.
“I know you don’t believe in love and maybe one day you would date someone just because you know each other so well.”
“Min woo....I know what I have said before....I do remember and I......feel the same way now. What is the point?”
Min woo said nothing but Angel knew there was something going on inside his mind, and it must have been important or he wouldn’t have specially called her out for this.
“I’ve been thinking and.....”
“And.....? You keep telling me you’ve been thinking.....I’ve established that already....”
Angel finally caught on to a small portion of his idea and kept alert. As min woo’s voice trailed off, she urged him to go on once again. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath before continuing.
“Angel.....will you marry me?”
* * * * *
“What?”
Angel jumped in her seat and the coffee cup in front of her was now nearly over the edge of the table. Noticing her own outburst, she quickly composed herself and moved the cup in a safe distance from the verge of breaking.
Marry you.....? What are you talking about min woo.....?
She didn’t know what to think, the four words min woo spoke ever so clearly sent her into a state of shock and disbelief all the while her confusion increased. Even though she knew it couldn’t be true or at least what he had said would definitely not bring the same meaning as when other people say it but somewhere inside herself she wanted to interpret those words her way.
I’m so scared of what you are going to say now....how I wish time could stop right here and let me interpret that question.....in any way I want to interpret it.....I wish it meant what I want it to mean.....I wish....I wish......you actually meant it....and.....love was the reason behind it.......
Min woo observed Angel for a moment to let his words sink in before continuing. Ignorant he was. Her emotions were completely lost on him. He did not read her expression, he didn’t take in the messages her eyes clearly spoke out. He went on talking, trapped in his own little world.
“Look, it’s not what you think.”
“I’m not thinking anything....”
“I’m sorry this is all so sudden but you and I both know....soo jin....she...”
“Soo jin...?”
Angel’s eyes widened in surprise and her voice instantly took on another tone.
Soo jin....oh my god....min woo....please don’t tell me what I think you are going to tell me....please don’t make my worst fear come true.....min woo....you can’t do this to me.....
“Yes, it’s the only way Angel. She won’t let go if she thinks there’s a slight chance I might-”
“Stop it.”
“Angel?”
Min woo called out confused at her sudden outburst. She did not look angry yet min woo knew she wasn’t happy. He was so taken aback at her reaction to what he was saying as she had never before expressed any type of anger in front of him. Sure she would get annoyed at him over small things and sometimes not talk to him for days but this was different. She was hurt, but he still did not understand.
Back to square one....you never disappoint me do you min woo.....even when I tried to deny it......it still caught up to me.....
I didn’t jump for joy when you asked me to marry you.....I knew there was another reason behind it....I didn’t think you were joking but it wasn’t because you loved me....I knew.....I knew where this was coming from.....but you’ve gone too far this time min woo.....much too far....
How could you even think to ask me that question because of soo jin....how could you.....Min woo I always knew how much you loved her and I did everything in my power to back up and support you through all this time. You should know. But this is going much too far. My happiness may mean nothing to you but I still have a right to choose the way I live my life....the person I want to spend it with......who gave you permission to trade my happiness for hers?
“I know where this is going....you want me to marry you so soo jin can finally let go...you want to relieve her of the pain and restriction she’s feeling because she thinks you need her. Am I not correct?”
“It’s not like that....”
“Then tell me....what is it like....?”
“I admit that is the reason behind me asking you to marry me but you should know me well enough to understand that I would never toy with emotions. Today I have asked you to marry me and with that I’m prepared to give it my 100% into this marriage, whatever reason it was we started this marriage with.”
“Don’t say that min woo.....you don’t have 100% to give....”
“Angel....I know...this isn’t fair...but think about it. Why don’t you give us a go? What have you got to lose? We know each other so well.....I don’t see any chance of this failing, I’m not going to promise a sweet and happy marriage like other couples but I can promise you a stable and reliable marriage. Isn’t that what you always wanted? Someone you can rely on?”
You don’t know me at all......but I guess I can’t blame you......
“You keep talking about what I want.....what about yourself? You will never forget soo jin. How can you possibly force yourself to live with me....?”
“I can’t promise she’ll never be on my mind but.....you already know that right? I am letting go....it’ll take time....so...please....give me a chance....only you understand me like this and only you can help me now....”
“But.......”
“Please.....I’m not just using you and our marriage to help soo jin....I’m not about to play with something like this. Since I have decided, I will definitely try my best and give you everything I can. This won’t be just a game for me.”
“I don’t know min woo....I really.....don’t.....”
“Here....take this....and......think about it...”
He handed her a small dark mauve velvet box and gave her hand a light squeeze for reassurance.
How many times have I dreamed of you asking me this question.....yet in that dream nothing that happened today corresponded....I didn’t jump up and down in joy...I didn’t hug you and plant my lips on yours....I didn’t....feel.....happiness.....do I even dare to say yes......? Am I willing to risk so much......? I can’t bare to even imagine how much pain I would endure if anything was to go wrong.....you’re ready.....but....am I?
* * * * *
“No. I forbid you to say yes. You can’t Angel.”
“But.....isn’t this the chance I’ve been waiting for? Isn’t this what I want.....?”
“You’ve been waiting for happiness Angel....you want love......how can you even think this is what you want? Lee min woo.....he can’t give you what you want and you know it. Stop tricking yourself into these things. You’ve given up years of your happiness, your emotions to him. Don’t give your soul to him. You’re gambling with so much more this time. You’re gambling with your life.”
Hye sung grabbed her shoulders and shook hard. Her face would not turn to meet him in the eyes because she knew he was right. She knew that one look in those crystal clear and brimming with pain eyes, she would break down.
I’m not stupid hye sung....I know I’m gambling with everything I have left.....but....if I keep holding on....the chance will slip past me. Who knows if this is the only chance I will ever get....who knows.....
“I think.....I’m going to play this round.....even if I lose, I can walk away forever. Time heals.....but....if I continue waiting...hoping.....the cut will never heal....I need this chance.....I will let go if it doesn’t work out......I will....I’m so tired.....”
Staring into her pale white face, hye sung sighed. He walked over to the balcony overlooking the spectacular views of the city. The view before him was Angel’s escape. Every night, when she just needed to exit reality for awhile, she would stare up at the endless diamond sky and watch them sparkle. Maybe it was because of her name, but she always felt so close to the night sky, where she was sure Angels dwelled. Thankful she was, not all the guardian Angels guarded the golden gates, because there was one right in front of her now.
“Oppa....don’t worry about me....I’m not that weak. I can get through this, just you watch me.”
“How can I not worry.....sometimes I really don’t understand.....”
“You do understand. We are the same type of people....if you did not understand what I was going through.....you would not still be holding on right now....please don’t tell me to take care and protect myself when.....”
Her sentence broke off as hye sung turned around and gave her an encouraging smile.
Love makes you stupid.....yet we still wait in line to claim our stupidity.....
“If you’ve made up your mind I have no objection. I’ll be behind you all the way and you know it. But...please promise me one thing...”
“Yes..?”
“Know when to let go.......please.....”
“I will.......I....promise you......this will be the last time.....”
Standing on her toes, her arms wrapped around him in a bear hug. Not so much to comfort him, but herself. Hye sung’s arms automatically wrapped around her as he pulled her in close. Bringing her face close to him, a whisper cautioned her one last time.
“It’s going to hurt Angel......”
Her head lay on his shoulder and she closed her eyes. How she longed to feel this type of security beneath his wings forever but her selfish thoughts were always pushed out of her mind before they took any real form. She was lucky enough to have this place to hide in her time of need but she couldn’t keep him to herself. She didn’t deserve him.
It’s already hurting hye sung....
Chapter 9
The sparkling white gown flowed from her waist and performed a revolution in perfection and grace. The many layers of pure snow white materials complimented each other so well that any angle of sunlight would immediately reflect off different spectrums of colour, illuminating the room.
“Wow....unnie I love your dress. You look picture perfect, just like an Angel.”
Soo jin awed as Angel turned to show her the dress and indeed, she did look just the image her name took. Her silky black hair was done up but a few long strands were curled and shaped her triangular face just right. Her eyes took on a special sparkle for the occasion. Only a light brush of dust pink was present on her to bring out the cheekbones and cherry gloss on her small heart shaped lips. Angel’s milky skin was so flawless even the makeup artist did not want to cover her natural beauty radiating from within with artificial products.
“I guess I’m all set to go....”
“Yeah....”
“What’s wrong soo jin?”
She asked sensing soo jin’s awkward reply. Soo jin took this chance to suddenly become fascinated with the tiling of the dressing room floor. It kept her so entertained her eyes couldn’t leave the one coloured tiles.
“Soo jin?”
Finally she looked up and spoke.
“Unnie, I’m so sorry.”
“For what?”
Taking back by her reply, Angel smiled and questioned again.
“Well....I feel so stupid....just the other day I came running to you and told you how I thought min woo oppa....well.....yeh. But look at you guys now...you’re going to get married in a few minutes and that could have been ruined by my big mouth.”
“Don’t fret too much. I don’t mind, in fact, it’s all forgotten so smile soo jin. After all, it is my wedding day.”
Giving her a light squeeze on the shoulder, soo jin’s face lit up considerably.
“Really? Still....I’m glad you didn’t take in all that crap I was talking. I had no idea....I mean......you guys never told me....”
“Let’s just say it’s all very sudden for me too.....”
Even though her answer was somewhat queer, soo jin brushed it off and broke into a broad grin.
“You guys will be so happy together, I just know it. I always thought you were meant for each other, don’t know why it took oppa so long.”
Angel smiled and shook her head knowingly.
“I hope you’re right soo jin....”
“Don’t worry unnie, if he doesn’t treat you good, I’ll be the first to knock sense into him!” She scoffed making Angel laugh.
“Okay, enough about me already, I saw Danny sitting out there awhile ago. So how are you guys going?”
“Oh....fine....I told min woo oppa and he agreed to let us go out. Danny’s great, I can feel us going a very long way. Really....”
Soo jin turned away, blushing slightly.
“Congratulations soo jin, he looks like a nice boy but you can never be too careful so take care of yourself..........”
....because the pain you were in before would have just been a start.....I wish you the best soo jin because this wedding.....the vows to be taken today.....it’s what we are trading in for your happiness.......
The piano finally sounded and Angel snapped out of her thoughts. The music played an enchanting piece that seemed to draw Angel in. Her heart thumped in her chest as soo jin stood next to her and her life ahead lay just down the aisle.
This is it......however it may turn out to be like....I...will....not....regret......it.....
She lifted her foot and began the journey down, each step paving a road to everything that may lie ahead.
* * * * *
In the name of God, I, Lee min woo take you, Angel, to be my wife,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better or worse, for richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,
until we are parted by death.
This is my solemn vow.
In the name of God, I, Angel, take you, Lee min woo, to be my husband,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better or worse, for richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,
until we are parted by death.
This is my solemn vow.
* * * * *
He took her by the hands and led her up the stairs to his bedroom, helping her with the large gown step by step. When Angel entered the newly renovated space her eyes lit up and a smile spread across her face. A small lunge at min woo and the right timing of arms, she was able to give min woo a hug of appreciation.
“I wasn’t sure if you would like it...but it’s alright...we can change it if you don’t.”
”No....Thank you so much for going through all the trouble.....I love it.”
It was in fact a lot of trouble, as the whole room acquired a brand new look to suit the needs of Angel in just a few days. From Min woo’s typical gloomy and lifeless room to a warm and welcoming room, brought alive with toned down yet bright colours. The indigo curtains and bed sheets were removed and the wall painted again. Sky blue bed sheets and just a shade darker than the bed sheets was the wall. The room once only occupied min woo and his needs was now transformed with feminine touches here and there.
Min woo then led her to the bathroom where once again she was surprised.
“Look, I even customized our cupboard....and here are your things.”
Opening the mirror door of the cupboard just above the washing hand basin, everything inside was in pairs and separated into their different sides.
“I divided it so you can place your things in here too. Oh yeah, I hope you don’t mind but the other day I bought these for you.”
He showed her the cups and toothbrush placed by themselves on the right hand side of the cupboard. The cups were different shades of jade and grass green with the word Angel printed across and the toothbrush also added to the décor with another shade of eucalyptus green.
Angel stared at the items he so thoughtfully picked out and placed in the cupboard he took time to arrange and set out just for her. She was on the verge of tears but for once, they were tears of happiness.
“Thank you....really....this is all so.....perfect....”
She spun around and not wanting to wait for his reaction, softly brushed against his lips with her own. To her surprise, just as she was about to pull back, a set of arms circled themselves around her pulled her in even closer. Not wanting to let her go, he brought himself closer and deepened the kiss, craving for the taste of her. Shocked as Angel was, she slipped her arms around his neck and responded.
Maybe.....it will turn out alright after all........17th of June....our wedding day....and....the happiest day of my life.....I can say it so freely now....lee min woo...I love you......do not regret loving you.....will not regret this choice....because I have you by my side and that’s all that matters.......
