Chapter 16
“Angel....? Angel....ANGEL!”
“Huh?”
Hye sung shook his head and gave her a stern look.
“If you don’t turn off that water, we can have a bath in there later.”
“OH.....no...”
Angel looked down at the sink which was filling up consistently to her surprise. She quickly turned it off and took out the plug at the bottom.
“Oops....”
“Hey are you alright? You’ve been staring stupidly at the window for the past decade.” He asked.
“Hmm....yeah I’m alright. Just thinking about soo jin....it’s been a month since she’s left....I wonder how she is...”
“I’m sure she’s fine or she would have called right?”
“Yeah....”
Angel nodded without much thought and continued to stare. The day was slowly fading away and she was getting extremely restless.
“So how are things with you and min woo?”
“Same same....you know how it is....”
But a small smile crept across her face. Nothing she had expected happened after soo jin’s departure. Min woo was obviously worried but other than that everything seemed normal. He was back to his caring husband image and now they had much more time to themselves. In fact, after work today Angel was planning to go to his office and surprise him with her hand made lunchbox. He called her during lunch to say that he would be working overtime so she went home for an hour or so to prepare his dinner.
“That’s good.....hey how about you run along now....there aren’t many customers anyway...”
Hye sung knew why she was restless and wanted to stop her from sighing and gazing at the clouds outside. He dropped his cloth and ushered her out of the café, half dragging and half pushing. He took her purse and lunchbox along with him and stuffed it in her hands when she was outside.
“Hey hey hey.......watch it.....shin hye sung...”
Without another word he went back in and closed the door, and took out the closed sign while he was at it. She shook her head and smiled at him.
“Thanks!”
Angel turned on her heel and sped down the road to find a taxi. She couldn’t wait to see him.
Why do your emotions still pull so instantly at my heart......? Even Lee min woo seems to be getting over soo jin......so....why can’t I....get over you....?
* * * * *
“Mrs Lee?”
“Is min woo here? I came to bring him dinner....”
“Mr Lee is at a meeting...I’m not sure when he’ll be back....”
“Oh....”
Angel pouted and her eyes darted around the place, not knowing what to do. She hadn’t expected him to not be here.
“Well....how about if you wait in Mr Lee’s office? I’ll make a call for you and tell him you’re here...”
“Really? Thanks Mrs Park.”
Angel smiled again and went into min woo’s overly large office. It was probably nearly as large as her old apartment. Angel looked around for a place to sit and finally decided to curl up on his bulky black leather chair that didn’t look slightly as comfortable as it should have been. Taking a seat, she propped her bag along with his lunchbox on his chaotic desk. Grinning, she slowly and carefully started to reorganize his papers. Whilst clearing off a whole layer of A4 files off his desk and piling them up to one side, Angel noticed an open black schedule diary on the bottom of everything. To her curiosity, she flipped through a few pages and looked at his busy days with a disapproving look. One day he would work himself to death. As Angel made up her mind to talk to him about loosening up on the overwork and was about to close the book, something caught her eye. Everything else she had seen was in black ink pen but what caught her attention was a page filled with large red and bold writing. As she read the reminder min woo wrote on the days Wednesday through to Friday of one week, the sides of her lips curled upwards and she could feel her eyes moistening.
Angel’s birthday and late honeymoon....3 days off and take her to
Before angel could do anything else, she heard min woo outside talking to his secretary. She closed the diary hastily and waited for him to come in. The smile on her face didn’t fade.
* * * * *
“Hey what are you doing here?”
Min woo came in and kissed her on the forehead.
“I came to deliver your dinner and I organized your table while I was waiting....how could you find your way through all that junk...”
“I’m used to it....come here....”
Min woo placed his briefcase down and motioned her to sit on the sofa on the side of his office with him. He opened up the lunchbox and dug in.
“Slow down slow down...you don’t have to share it with anyone....so don’t choke...”
She patted his back and told him to slow down on the chomping of the food but he only smiled and went on eating. Not even 5 minutes after, Angel’s lunchbox was wiped clean and min woo held Angel in his arms, almost about to fall asleep on her shoulder.
“Lee min woo...you’re so heavy...get off me....”
She tried to worm her way out of his grip but he only ended up tightening it and pulling her even closer.
“I have to get home....dad’s waiting for dinner...come on min woo....”
But he still did not budge.
“Forget about dad.....” He murmured.
“Get off or I’ll whack you...”
She threatened but he took no notice of her.
“....OUCH!!! HEY...are you trying to kill your husband?” Min woo shouted and wanted to get up and restrict her once again but she was already at the door with bag in hand.
“Don’t come home too late.....bye....”
And she was out the door and bolting for the lift. Min woo only rubbed his sore head and glared evilly at the door.
Wait till I get my hands on you......ouch...ouch....my head......
Chapter 17
“...Min woo....min woo.......”
Suddenly Angel bolted up from her dream and sat still breathing heavily on the bed. She could feel the sweat dripping down the sides of her face.
....what....was that a dream...... “
Images flashed across her eyes one by one, replaying the dream again. She was with min woo and then he suddenly disappeared, she looked all around for him but he kept appearing in different places and whenever she came close he would escape from her hands. She ran around her place looking all over for him but would be just a step in front of her, never too far yet she was never able to catch him either, until finally when she did manage to grab onto his hand, he turned into a wisp of smoke and vanished. She was left standing there, holding onto thin air.
It’s not true..........it’s just a dream.......
She kept telling herself and when she finally regained full consciousness, she looked to where min woo should have been sleeping for signs of comfort. The other half of the bed was empty and when she felt the sheets and found that it was cold.
Where is he.........?
Getting out of bed, Angel walked to the windows and pulled the blinds back to let in the rays of morning sunshine. Taking a deep breath, she tried to shake off the feelings of unease and discomfort. Turning around to walk to the bathroom, Angel saw a white piece of paper on her dressing table and picked it up.
I’ll be back later....going to pick up soo jin at the airport....explain to you tonight....
Angel’s hand shook as she placed the piece of paper down and stared at the mirror in front of her. The reflection of the white washed and bloodless face scared her.
Why do I feel so nervous.....and...soo jin? What happened.....? She never called to tell us.......why is she coming back in such a rush......?
Questions whirled around her head but none matched themselves with the answers Angel was looking for. She quickly washed and dressed herself before hurrying down the stairs to see if dad was awake. She had a lot of asking to do. An anxious feeling rooted at the pit of her stomach and no matter what she did, it could not be dug up. She didn’t know what was wrong or what was happening but she just felt panicky. Maybe she was overreacting over nothing but she couldn’t stop herself.
The dream.......what does it mean.......?
* * * * *
“Dad!! Did you see min woo leave this morning?”
Angel asked as soon as she arrived in front of the dining table where min woo’s father was sitting. His eyes were staring straight ahead and Angel’s words passed his ears without him moving a feature slightly.
“...DAD!...”
Angel shouted in front of him again and waved her hand in his face.
“Stop that! I can see....”
He slapped away her hand annoyed. Angel brought her hand back and looked at him carefully.
“Is there....something wrong....? Is it...soo jin....?”
“I don’t know.....”
He shook his head helplessly.
“Min woo left a note saying he was picking her up now.....”
“Yeah....she called him in the morning and he rushed out....he looked really worried but when I asked him he said he didn’t know either. I’m worried about soo jin, we never heard from her since she left and now she’s suddenly back. I can’t help but think there’s something wrong....”
He said before turning away from Angel and walked back up to his room, leaving her standing there confused and unable to speak.
She’s really back....what happened.....?
* * * * *
The rattling of keys and turning of the doorknob sent Angel bolting down the stairs. Before she could reach the bottom of the stairs, min woo opened the door and walked in with a sobbing girl and suitcase. Her head was down and sniffing but before Angel could ask any questions, min woo’s father already opened his mouth.
“SOO JIN??!! What happened?”
“Dad, she’s really tired. Let her go up to bed and I’ll explain to you everything later.”
With that min woo dropped the suitcase and walked soo jin slowly up the stairs with his arm around her shoulders and whispered in her ear once in awhile to comfort her. Angel watched everything in silence and stood still half way down the stairs. She felt a tearing feeling in her heart but nothing else. As min woo and soo jin walked past her up the stairs, she finally found her voice and turned around to halt them at step.
“Soo jin....what’s wrong....? What happened...?”
“Unnie.......”
Soo jin broke into tears before she could say anything else and min woo sent Angel an angered look before throwing down a few icy words.
“She’s not ready to talk. Stop asking her about it. Do you want her to hurt even more?” He spoke sharply and looked at Angel as if she was the cause of soo jin’s pain and tears. Angel fell back slightly surprised. She was bewildered at his unfeeling eyes and distant tone.
“No....I didn’t mean....”
Angel stepped away from the wall and closer to soo jin to say sorry but soo jin’s sobbing became worse and worse that min woo suddenly jerked and led soo jin up the stairs quickly.
”Ah......”
A cry sprouted from Angel as min woo’s shoulders hit into her and forced her already unbalanced body backwards. Angel slid wobbly down a couple of stairs and finally fell near the bottom of the staircase. She felt her eyes water but forced herself to not shed any tears in front of min woo, biting on her lower lip to stop any sounds from her mouth. Only until she became aware of the salty taste on her lip that she let go and took a deep breath in to loosen the tense emotions bottling up. As she struggled to get up, using the wall for support, min woo and soo jin were already in soo jin’s room and the slam of the door notified Angel of this. She looked up at the empty staircase and experienced a rush of vulnerability. Min woo had not even turned his head around when she fell.
I don’t know what to think....what to feel.......I don’t even know if I can still think and feel.......the way you looked at me.....the way you spoke to me.....someone tell me what just happened......someone explain to me what I should do right now......I’m numb.....dead......lifeless.......the pain in my legs and stomach.....they were there a minute ago......but it’s gone now.......I can’t feel......
* * * * *
Angel slowly pulled herself up straight and wiped away a relentless trickle down her cheek fiercely. She trudged slowly back up to her room and immediately sank down to the floor, using the bed as a backrest. Her body felt limp and sight blurry. Sitting there motionless, she wanted to move but couldn’t. She wanted to think but couldn’t. She wanted to cry but the tears that were forced back never revealed themselves again. The sides of the curtains were lifted up slightly by the light breeze rushing in through the window. Feeling the breeze brush past her, a shiver was sent down her spine. The breeze seemed extra icy, just like the way she was feeling inside. Staring out the window, nothing seemed to catch her view. She didn’t know what she was looking at, maybe she was looking for something but the outlook was bleak. The whole world changed in a split second. She longed for the bright and pleasant sun beams shining in through the window. She missed the warmth it brought to her when it lit up the room. Angel could not find a trace of the realm she was in just a few hours ago. Nothing materialized in front of her when she sought out to find the point where she strayed away. She was lifted up to heaven and thrown down back to hell ruthlessly. She regretted ever having the chance to take a glimpse of heaven, maybe if she didn’t know beyond the living hell she was in, it wouldn’t hurt as much now.
To love and to lose is better than to have not loved at all.....I keep telling myself that....but....why don’t I relate.....is it really better to have loved and lost? Can anyone seriously endure this much hurt......can I tolerate anymore? Do I.....do I want to suffer any more than I have already suffered......after all.....I don’t know whether it’s really worth it anymore......
I loved you so much min woo.....yet just when I thought I was getting close to you.....you push me away brutally.....all that I’ve given to you....all that I’ve given up for you.....isn’t it enough? How much more from me do you want.....because.....I don’t know how much more I have to give......just like the words in that song......I have given you everything yet I still ask you if that’s enough......I don’t think I have more than everything to give......I don’t think I want to risk anymore.....
Because you know what.....that bet.....the gamble......I’m fighting a losing battle.....maybe it’s time.....to say.....I lost......totally, utterly, without mercy.....everything......gone......
Angel sat there unmoving and oblivious to her surroundings and ticking of the clock. By the time she had regained awareness, it was already dark outside. She listened for any movements outside and downstairs but the house was so still that the rustling of the leaves outside could be heard. She didn’t know how long she had been in the room but it didn’t matter to her. Nothing mattered to her anymore. Angel decided to wait for min woo in the same silence she had just experienced. Not wanting to think, speak, look or feel, Angel rested her head back and closed her eyes. She waited for him to come back, to do the thinking, speaking, looking and feeling. She expected him to explain something, to explain anything. She needed him to comfort her because she was tired, worn out, shattered in pieces and the funny thing was, she didn’t even know why.
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